I am on Facebook. Well I was. Actually now I am again.
Okay let me explain. As you know, I am a dog. I was on Facebook and it was great. I had put some pictures on there, which is a big achievement for a dumb dog like me. Also a lot of you nice people had decided to be my Friend. And some of you decided to come here and read my blog after seeing me on Facebook, which was very nice of you.
Also, I even found that when I saw other dogs I didn’t know on Facebook, I did not have the Bad Reaction that I usually have when I see dogs I don’t know in person.
Then, one day (well yesterday actually), I could not log into my Facebook. And I got this message:
Now I have a small brain, but this message really boiled it. I mean, the nerve! Here is what I have to say about this Facebook message:
It looks like you’re using a profile to represent an organization, business, brand or public figure.
I am definitely not an organization. I am a small dog. Just because I have this amazing blog and all my posts go viral does not mean that I am a business.
Although maybe I am sort of like a public figure… I had not thought about that.
Personal profiles are for individual people only…
I am an individual! There is only one of me. My dad is over here saying “thank God” right now, which I do not know why he would say that. But never mind him.
So since I am an individual, the problem must be that I am not a person. Well, I am not. I am a dog. You got me there, Facebook. But I have to make a stand against this kind of anti-dogism. Facebook needs to get with the times. It is okay in today’s society to be a dog.
…and should include a real first name and last name (ex: John Doe).
This one really steams me. I do have a real first name and a real last name. My real first name is Dingleberry and my real last name is Dingbat and those are exactly the two names that I typed into Facebook. So I guess they do not like my two names. But I don’t think they should judge me or my names like that.
I have to say something about this stupid example too. I mean, obviously “John Doe” is not somebody’s real first name and last name. So how come this fake John Doe gets to be on Facebook and the real Dingleberry Dingbat (that’s me) does not?
In order to follow the Facebook Terms and better reach your audience, we’ll need to convert your profile to a Page.
This seems very selfish of Facebook. I did not ask Facebook to follow the Dingleberry Terms. And I was reaching all of you nice people just fine without being Converted. Now that I have been Converted, I do not receive these nice Friend Requests any more.
The friends of your current profile will be transferred to your new Page as followers.
So now I have a Facebook Page instead of a profile. And now all of you nice people are Followers instead of Friends. Well I still think of you as Friends, but Facebook thinks of you as Followers. Following makes it sounds like you listen to what I say and do what I tell you to do. But I would not recommend that, because I am just a small dumb dog.
Even though I do not agree with it, something tells me Facebook is not going to give me back my Profile. So even though it does not seem right that I would have a Page instead of a Profile, hopefully all you nice people will just put up with it like I am going to do. If you want to go to my Facebook Page and give Facebook an earful, here is where you can go: My Facebook page.
And if any of you want to write me a comment to tell me if you are mad or happy about Facebook, you can do that right here on my blog.